Rogue Ink

April 3, 2008

The War on English: Why, when I was a girl . . .

Filed under: Writing — Tei @ 9:29 pm
Tags: , ,

Right after we slogged through snow and sleet uphill both ways (okay, this was northern California, so not so much snow and sleet as sheeting rain, but still, the hill was there, and it was effing steep), they sat us down in our little chairs and they made us journals out of regular ol’ writing paper and a manila folder, stapled along the margin, which we then decorated with colored pencils and one madly maligned Sharpie. We would write in those little journals every single bloody day, and we would get them back next week with spelling corrections and grammar corrections, and sometimes a note that recommended we see the school counselor, if the topic we had chosen to write about happened to be, oh, I don’t know, the way we decapitated and tattooed our Barbie dolls. That is how we did it, when I was a girl.

Apparently, no more. What is happening to the children? Won’t anyone think of the children?

Here’s the good thing about this study. Girls are out-performing boys. Which is as it should be and has ever been, so this is no surprise, but it is nice to know that for yet another year, the universe has not tilted off its axis. (Does the universe have an axis? Discuss, all you aerospace experts out there.)

Here’s the other good thing about this study: there are very few good writers graduating into the workforce, which means I don’t have to worry about some young upstart booting me out of my field in a few years. I am a member of a dwindling but elite group. We are those who properly capitalize and punctuate our text messages, who know the difference between ‘who for’ and ‘for whom,’ who carry Strunk and White and the Chicago Manual of Style and the AP Stylebook, because we are nothing if not stylish, baby. In the future, the only ways humans will be able to communicate with each other will be through copywriters. We will hold all the power. BWAH HA HAAA!!!

Unless they bring smoke signals back. In which case, we might be a little screwed.



  1. Hey, I really DID walk up hill both ways! We lived on the edge of a big-assed hill, and in order to get to the bus stop (1/2 a mile away), we had to walk up the freakin’ hill and down the other side. In the snow. And sleet. And dodging bullets in hunting season. Put hair on our chests, you know…

    Comment by Lori — April 4, 2008 @ 12:32 pm | Reply

  2. E-zacktly. Mine was in Oakland, so hunting season was year round, if you know what I’m saying.

    Comment by echorogue — April 4, 2008 @ 3:01 pm | Reply

  3. […] and they will stop at nothing until we are all babbling as incoherently as those typo-endorsing, phonetic spelling, technology-addicted HEATHENS who live in the lower ranks of the comment filters. We, the Coalition […]

    Pingback by Welcome IttyBiz Peeps! « Rogue Ink — April 10, 2008 @ 3:51 am | Reply

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