Rogue Ink

May 9, 2008

I Am Not Useful. (And Why You Should Be Cool With That)

Filed under: Writing — Tei @ 3:10 am

Yesterday, I explained why Rogue Ink is a pub, and not a business blog. I explained that clients are welcome in the pub, so long as they can handle my foul-mouthed patrons. Today, I’m going to explain why you guys, my readers, want to hang out in my pub despite my lack of business-blogness (other than the pro-cursing policy, and Brett shouting ‘Naked!’ a lot in my comments). I shall begin with the following:

I loves me the link love.

The pub is packed tonight. Harrison‘s sitting at a table with me, teaching me how to read tarot and discussing why Hondas and the Sagittariuses who ride them are just better. Kelly Erickson‘s putting quarters in the jukebox and Tony Lawrence is showing her how override the fifteenth round of ‘Piano Man’ that I put in there. Carrie Lowery‘s smoking what appears to be a meerschaum and Janice Cartier‘s trying to get Allison to hold still for her painting ‘Nude with Sushi.’ Karen Swim just got ahold of Steph Vandermeulen and is guiding her into the Realm of Endless Cheerful Sunshine in which Karen lives (seriously, follow the woman on Twitter. She is an amazingly cheery person. In the mornings, no less). Amy is telling the Deep Friar that I’m her long-lost twin, and the good friar is smiling and nodding, which is wise when you’re talking to Amy, and James is knitting Brett a new kilt because his got shredded in a swordfight with me. There’s a whole lotta random going on.

Nobody is here at the pub looking for practical advice about running a copywriting business. And here’s why.

When I Am Useful, It Is Entirely By Accident

Writing clean, concise, well-organized copy is what I do all day for a living. I don’t want to do it when I’m off-duty. I will tell you right now that I never sit down to write a post with a clear take-away point in mind. You know that weird spinny, vaguely nauseous feeling you get when you’re done reading one of my posts? (Don’t lie. I know you do.) That’s what it feels like in my head ALL THE TIME. By the time I wind up at the end of one of these posts and it sums up nicely, I am as surprised as anyone.

In my business, I write with a beginning, middle, and end. I have an article due tomorrow for the SF Chronicle, and it’s going to have all its article-pieces in place. It will have a lede, and a nut graf, a solid body, and probably a good little kicker in the final paragraph. And yes, I know what all of those things mean, and no, I am not going to explain them now.

Although if you want to talk about how ‘nut graf’ sounds dirty, I am down for spending some serious time on that activity. We denizens of the Rogue Ink Pub are creative folk, and I am betting that many of you are unable to resist constructing a joke featuring the words ‘lede’, ‘nut graf’, ‘solid body’, and ‘kicker’. Don’t fight the urge. Give in. Whoever makes the best dirty joke involving those words, I will officially buy them a drink. No, I am not kidding. A real one. PayPal was invented for purposes just such as these. Ten bucks to the winner. Spread the word.

The point is (see how these tangents happen?), I may not be useful every day, or even most days. I’ll talk about writing, and running a business, because that is more or less what my life consists of right now. I hope that following me around on that path teaches you something, or entertains you. It won’t be a straight path, though. I am going to go down side roads and I am going to hijack you and make you come with me. I’ll try to take you through some pretty scenery. Or at least a funny word or two. Like ‘biscuit’ or ‘monkey’.

Heh. Biscuit monkey.

I Don’t Want to Talk Business.

I don’t want to tell you how to write a good press release today. I’ve been writing press releases all day. Some other day, when I’ve been writing, oh, I don’t know, instructions for toothpick boxes, I will tell you how to write a press release, and it will be hilarious stuff, because I will not at that moment want to stab the inventor of the press release through the eye with a plastic spork. Or I will at least be better able to resist the urge. Actually, no, no I won’t. If I ever have a really good reason to attack anyone with a plastic spork, I believe I will succumb to this temptation. It would take a better woman than I to resist a good Spork Attack.

I can tell you the dumb stuff people try to do with their press releases. I can tell you all of the secret things for which I wish I could write press releases (spoiler: the Guiness Book of World Records and my pinkie toe feature rather largely). I can tell you if the press release I wrote for my own business bombed horribly. PLEASE do not expect serious guidance on how to write a good press release in my pub. If you really want that information, come to the office, Good Ink, and I will write one for you. It will be great. I won’t be able to explain how it happened. Which brings me to . . .

I Cannot Make You A Better Writer

I thought a lot about this one, and I sincerely believe it is true. If you want to become a better writer, you should read, listen, and write, and you should do all of them a LOT. My diagramming out the components of writing structure will never make you a good writer. My high school English teachers used to hate me, because I never screwed up my grammar or misspelled a word, and yet I could not diagram a sentence. Still can’t. I CAN tell you when it is WRONG. What is wrong is generally funnier than what is right. Let’s go for funny, shall we?

THIS IS WRONG. NEVER DO THIS. NOT IF YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF SIGNAGE IN ENGLAND. IF YOU ARE TWITTERING, THEN FINE, I FORGIVE YOU.

I do. I forgive you. But the phoenixes are still PISSED.

The War on English exists because bad writing hurts me. Right here, in my Sad Place. Good writing is important to me, but this does not mean that I can explain it. In fact, trying to explain how to write well makes my head hurt. Douglas Adams said the secret to flying was simply to fall down and miss. The secret to good copywriting? Don’t be boring. I can say it many different ways, but that will always be the essence of my copywriting advice. Boring people suck. Do not be one of them.

I Am An Ignorant Wench

I don’t know the 12 Steps to Success. I am busy drowning in the Wading Pool of What-the-Hell-IS-All-This? I am here to tell you the story about the Happy Man, to rant about lumberjacks or running the perfect con. I am here to entertain you as best I can while keeping my head above water, trying to turn a talent for writing into a solid business. I think that freelancing is a fucking amazing life, and I hope my little rants and anecdotes make those of you who are stuck in your nine-to-fives psyched about quitting one day. Tomorrow’s a good day for that, by the by. Or today. Today is good. The pub will cheer you when you come see us tonight.

One day I will actually have a pub. I will call it the Laughing Rogue (or, if my Tessa has her way, the Lusty Weevil), and I will invite all of you amazing entrepreneurs, nine-to-fivers, dreamers, Quakers, bakers, candlestick makers, and yes, really brave clients, to come and hang out in it and discuss writing and freelancing and life. Until then, I have this blog, and that’s pretty great too. I’m glad you’re all here.

Subscribe. The night is young.

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57 Comments »

  1. Whew, it’s lucky you’re glad we’re here, since I doubt anyone would leave even if you rang the last call bell really, really loud. By the way, can you make sure there’s a fooze-ball table at the Lusty Weevil? I suck at darts.

    Comment by Sunili — May 9, 2008 @ 4:10 am | Reply

  2. You gotta do me a favor Tei. Tell me some of this post was up at some point last night because I am SURE I’ve already read half of this. Am I nuts or was this one long post that you later turned into a sequel (and I caught you mid-publish)? I’m having a deja-read and it’s freaking me out…I need a beer.

    Comment by Karen JL — May 9, 2008 @ 6:33 am | Reply

  3. Sunili – There will be pool and air hockey. We will have to find out first if I am any good at fooz-ball to see if I’ll allow it.

    Karen JL – You are totally correct. It was a long-ass post and I decided it needed to be in two parts. And because I published and then unpublished it, and then published it again, you probably have already read it. Because you are mightily on top of things here at Rogue Ink, and for that I salute you.

    I rewrote it, though. Isn’t it better this time? The ‘Nude with Sushi’ joke was new.

    I forgot to put you in there, didn’t I. Would it freak you out if I went and changed it again, just to add you to the room?

    Comment by Tei — May 9, 2008 @ 9:14 am | Reply

  4. ur not gonna learn me how to write? wtf?

    Beeatch, i gotta new clientell i needs to impress today..

    No, wait, true story:

    My wife used to do free lance word processing. Reports, letters, resumes, that sort of thing for small business that weren’t able to do it themselves. I’d help her when awkward phrases needed rewriting and so on..

    So we get this guy with a resume. Hand scratched on yellow ruled paper. Starts of with his Objective:

    “To work in a company where my real good communication skills will be appreciated”

    “We have to change THAT!”, my wife sayeth.

    I said “No, anyone considering hiring him needs to know about his ‘real good’ skills”.

    Well, she changed it anyway, but to this day I think we should have left it as it was.

    If Mr. “real good communication skills” ever happens to read this, gee, how’s your life working out? Got that “communication” down pat? Working somewhere that appreciates you and rewards you commensurately? I sure hope so..

    Comment by Tony Lawrence — May 9, 2008 @ 9:41 am | Reply

  5. “Nude with Sushi”??? Oh my. How scandalous! But wait… is it me that’s nude or is it the sushi?

    Great fun! ๐Ÿ™‚

    *giggle* Nude with Sushi! Hehe.

    Comment by Allison — May 9, 2008 @ 9:57 am | Reply

  6. Tei,

    Woot! I’m a second-stringer!

    Thank goodness Tony knows how to end the Piano Man fiasco. Once is quite enough. He’ll be sorry, though, ‘cuz I’ll put on stuff that I like…

    Ah, Tony, we can start with the Cars and Aerosmith and Boston for a little Mass. camerederie. After that I’ll probably drive you nuts.

    Speaking of nuts…

    Okay, so the other day I walk past a solid-body on Pheonix Way, getting a nice kicker out of scratching his nut graf right through his lederhosen…

    I can do better.

    Need caffeine.

    I can’t stand Pheonix. It’s making my skin crawl.

    Regards,

    Kelly

    Comment by Kelly — May 9, 2008 @ 10:05 am | Reply

  7. Tony: Speaketh not the Ebonics, lest we Oakland girls get all up in your face. I just found this awesome blog, where your wife’s guy’s resume belongs. http://nothired.com/

    Allison: Naked Sushi is DIRTY. We don’t talk about that stuff here. This is a clean family blog, miss missy!

    Kelly: It’s harder than it looks, isn’t it?

    All right, people, Kelly’s is the mark to beat.

    Comment by Tei — May 9, 2008 @ 10:31 am | Reply

  8. Oh, and I forgot to say, though I am in love with Harrison C. McLeod, Capricorns are just better. Sagittarians are just more philosophical.

    Comment by Kelly — May 9, 2008 @ 10:32 am | Reply

  9. Cover Letters from Hell

    Tei, you will laugh your nut grafs off. Bob’s wit was made for you.

    Comment by Kelly — May 9, 2008 @ 10:35 am | Reply

  10. The kilt got shredded in the swordfight? Brett got NAKED! I suspect Tei for doing that intentfully… Reminded me of this song:

    About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
    And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
    “See young sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
    I wonder if its true what they dont wear beneath the kilt!”

    Naked Sushi, naked Allison? Naked Brett. I’m beginning to wonder if this pub is in Amsterdam ๐Ÿ™‚

    And no jokes about nut grafs from me … hell I don’t even know what they are!

    Comment by Lode — May 9, 2008 @ 10:41 am | Reply

  11. Cancers on the cusp of Gemini with a Leo ascendant rule way more than Saggitarians. That’s all I’ll say.

    Comment by James Chartrand - Men with Pens — May 9, 2008 @ 11:51 am | Reply

  12. For shit’s sake, Tei, seriously! I can’t โ€” I can’t come up with the right words to respond to the freakin’ coolness you embody! THIS writing, this perfect fucking writing… and I mean perfect in every way, but especially that you keep addressing stuff that’s on my mind already (thanks for the endless cheerful sunshine referral, btw). It’s uncanny. I read this and I suddenly got all calm and I was all, Okay. All right. I quit. There’s no need for me here. Your creativity and โ€” and everything… I feel like a moot point in the universe. (And then I was all, daaaamn! And just totally incoherent trying to explain to my sis how bloody well made of awesome you are.) I’m cool with it, though. I don’t need a purpose when I come in to the Rogue Ink Pub for a pint of Genius. Bottoms up!

    Comment by steph — May 9, 2008 @ 3:29 pm | Reply

  13. Ahh, so a few Kelly Martini’s later,

    Is that a naked sushi?
    Oh never mind.

    Tei,
    The sun is up,

    Do you serve breakfast? Or do we have to eat those naked sushi thingies?

    Comment by wendikelly — May 9, 2008 @ 3:38 pm | Reply

  14. Kelly: I went. I saw. I laughed. Awesomeness.

    Capricorns are good. Sagittarians are bettes. Sagittarius-Capricorn cusp babies? Freakin’ amazing.

    Lode: Naked everything, baby. Including the sushi.

    James: Um, no. Harry and I know how to read our charts better than you do and just . . . no.

    Steph: Hee hee hee. I love it. Keep on keeping on, sugar. My brilliance can’t touch a lot of people’s. And a lot of them come around here to play.

    Wendi: Sure. If by ‘breakfast’ you mean, ‘another round’.

    Comment by Tei — May 9, 2008 @ 3:48 pm | Reply

  15. @James – I’m still waiting for that kilt.

    PS – payment in the mail, next week.

    @Tei,

    I am *soooooo* coming to your real pub, and you can come to my cafe after. I’ll pay for the plane flight… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    -Brett the “naked-under-the-kilt, horned Viking helmet wearing, barefoot running guy”

    Comment by Brett Legree — May 9, 2008 @ 4:44 pm | Reply

  16. Okay, gang…I’m crashin’ the party cuz I could really use a stiff drink and a whole lotta random right about now. Hope no one minds…I brought my golden retriever puppy, Maggie, along. She’s doing what I call her crazy-puppy run, in and around people and chair legs, trying frantically to greet everyone at once. She’s a sweetheart AND a rogue-at-heart (not unlike you, Tei) and if you’re looking for a mascot for the pub, she’d be more than happy to volunteer. Hold onto your drinks, everyone, she’s been known to turn tables over during such displays of enthusiasm.

    Harrison…my oldest son rides a Honda and would agree with you on that point, but I’ve no doubt he’d insist Aries are just better. Kelly….do you have any more quarters? The jukebox is playing Piano Man again. Maggie, no! Shit! Janice…forget about trying to get Allison to hold still for her painting…Maggie just ate the sushi. Damn…I’ll bring some fresh sushi with me next time. Karen, is there room for me on that guided trip to the Realm of Endless Cheerful Sunshine? Silly me…barkeep poor me another shot would you? Nevermind, Karen…I’m good. And James…while I had no idea you were so multi-talented, and I think it’s WAY cool, do you think you could knit a little faster? Brett looks ridiculous wearing that tablecloth.

    Comment by Lisa Wilder — May 9, 2008 @ 4:55 pm | Reply

  17. Lisa,

    Nice to see you here! I have a golden retriever named Maggie, sitting right next to me as I type. In fact, at all time, she is right next to me, she is my faithful friend and true love, Maggie May.
    And I agree that Aries are the better of the all.First born of the Zodiac, the rest of them have to run to catch up…
    Now about that sushi..thank god your dog ate it, its been here awhile and it wasn’t that fresh anymore.
    As for the rest…I think Brett looks kind of cute in the tablecloth.

    Comment by wendikelly — May 9, 2008 @ 5:18 pm | Reply

  18. Hey Wendi! So sorry…I didn’t see you (and your Maggie) over there in the corner typing away. Your Maggie must be a little older and better behaved than mine. When my Maggie is in a room she makes it well known. (Wow, Tei…two mascots and both goldens named Maggie. How cool it that?!)

    As for Brett in his tablecloth…I agree he does look kinda cute, but still… James, are you done knitting that damn thing yet?!

    Comment by Lisa Wilder — May 9, 2008 @ 5:25 pm | Reply

  19. “Allison, seriously, hold the blade right there. And quit shaking the salmon, Every nut graf in the universe will be calling you up.”

    “Nude With Sushi ” , That is so on my studio work list now. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Comment by Janice Cartier — May 9, 2008 @ 6:04 pm | Reply

  20. Like you, I spend much of my day writing anal, obsessive compulsive administrative I-want-to-gouge-my-own-eyes-out documents. Where all you do is cross all your i’s, dot your t’s, and mind your P’s and Q’s.

    When I get home, I just like to kick off my shoes and forget about everything. It’s nice to have a pub like yours where I can relax and by myself.

    If I ever ran a pub, I’d call it the “Thrusting Pig”.

    As for nut-graf?

    No thanks. I prefer the Powerpoint version.:-)

    Comment by Friar — May 9, 2008 @ 7:08 pm | Reply

  21. @Tei – Yes. Yes, it would. One freak out per day, thanks. With me living on the west coast and being a night owl, I guess I read the ‘early edition’ of RI…that’s when the booze is fresh.

    Comment by Karen JL — May 9, 2008 @ 7:10 pm | Reply

  22. Damn, who let that dog in here??? Allison, cover up. Nooo not THAT tablecloth ….ooops, sorry Brett. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    Yeah, put that Viking helmet on…

    Comment by Janice Cartier — May 9, 2008 @ 7:57 pm | Reply

  23. Tei…

    I just discovered you–fabulous funny–and cannot wait to come to your pub. Keep up the good work (at work and not)!

    Comment by Beth — May 9, 2008 @ 8:03 pm | Reply

  24. Brett: Why? Why the tablecloth? What did the tablecloth ever do to you?

    Lisa and Wendi: Bring on the mascots and the Maggies and the powers combined.

    Janice: Nice. Good nut graf joke. You’re now head of the pack.

    Friar: The Thrusting Pig and the Lusty Weevil go head to head for the title of Best Pub Name Ever.

    Karen: Fresh Booze all day long at Rogue Ink, baby.

    Beth: Hey, thanks, sugar. Stick around, we get better and better.

    Comment by Tei — May 9, 2008 @ 8:30 pm | Reply

  25. OMG!
    Now Brett is naked, naked naked.

    oh wait…now he has a viking hat hanging from his lede on his solid body.

    Um..Brett watch out for those horns, there is a mis-behaved dog jostling things around in here. You don’t want to get a kicker in your nut graf.

    Comment by wendikelly — May 9, 2008 @ 8:37 pm | Reply

  26. I am comfortable in my nakedness…

    naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked naked ๐Ÿ™‚

    Speaking of pub names, I used to go to “The Pheasant Plucker” in Hamilton.

    Of course, if you said it too fast… ๐Ÿ™‚

    Comment by Brett Legree — May 9, 2008 @ 8:38 pm | Reply

  27. Tei,

    ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall..ninety- nine bottles of beer..
    why can’t I remember the rest of the words to that song?

    I neeeeed a refill

    somebody get Brett a new tablecoth.

    Can I have some peanuts?

    Comment by wendikelly — May 9, 2008 @ 8:44 pm | Reply

  28. Calisse, you people are insane.

    @Lisa: Hondas rule and mine would beat any Harley out there. That’s not bragging and I can back it up.

    @Everybody: As for the Sagg vs All The Other Signs? Don’t get me started…unless you want me to give you the full, unedited rundown of each sign.

    @Brett: Put some clothes on man, I have enough problems sleeping at night.

    @Kelly: I love you too – in a philosophical sort of way. And yes, Aerosmith over Billy Joel any day.

    Comment by Harrison McLeod — May 9, 2008 @ 8:47 pm | Reply

  29. @Harry: Now I’m curious ๐Ÿ™‚ Aries, ascendant Virgo, element Fire. Backed up by a Chinese Fire Dragon. Run me down! That’s great pub talk anyway!

    @Brett: hehe. Yeah “In The Pleasant Fucker” is a nice place I guess. I’ll have a multiple screaming orgasm please.

    Comment by Lode — May 9, 2008 @ 8:59 pm | Reply

  30. Okay, Tei, meme goin’ round. Tag! You’re it. More info here:
    http://tuleydocs.com/2008/05/09/sixteen-random-facts-about-me/

    Comment by Matt Tuley — May 9, 2008 @ 9:02 pm | Reply

  31. Harry,

    Are you being Harrison cool here? Your name is just so cool it seems made up. Were your parents writers too?

    Anyway..sorry..got distracted.

    I have copies of my entire chart. And my husbands and all my kids. I think I got that down. We can have a good fire sign conversation but as you know you have to peek under the covers to see what else is going on, the sun sign stuff is just pub talk.

    Comment by wendikelly — May 9, 2008 @ 9:02 pm | Reply

  32. You know that scene in There’s Something About Mary when Ben Stiller is trying to pronounce Brett Favre’s name? I thought of that when I saw the Pheonix Way sign.

    Comment by Matt Tuley — May 9, 2008 @ 9:15 pm | Reply

  33. Wendi – I can cook stuff other than sushi! What would you like?

    Lisa – Don’t worry, I can make more sushi. Heck, I’ll even make some dog food sushi for the Maggies! Think they would like that? ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s probably a little better for them than eating the human-food sushi!

    Janice – Goodness, the things I do for the sake of art! Sorry, I’m trying to hold still, but the dogs running all over the pub are making that difficult!

    Brett – Oops! Oh hi Brett, you don’t mind, do you?

    Harry – I love hondas… mine treated me well! Until I totaled it… Oh wait… you’re talking about motorcycles, aren’t you.

    Comment by Allison — May 9, 2008 @ 9:32 pm | Reply

  34. @Harry,

    Hey, not my fault, brother, blame Darth Sushi… I’ll just cover the “meat and two veg” with the peanut bowl…

    (and *that’s* why you should never, ever eat the peanuts)

    Comment by Brett Legree — May 9, 2008 @ 9:43 pm | Reply

  35. What? Oops. Sorry Harry, it was my fault. Although Tei did shred the kilt in the first place! James needs to hurry on up with that knitting.

    Comment by Allison — May 9, 2008 @ 9:49 pm | Reply

  36. Pub grub…Now we’re talkin!
    I’m easy..in fact, I can cook too! You think Tei will let us in the kitchen?
    Heck..who’s asking…let’s go! Pub Burgers, nachos, fries,

    or we can be a fancy pub and do garlic lime chicken with mushroom risotto or a quick tilapia with fresh mango salsa.
    What do you think the gang is hungry for?

    Comment by wendikelly — May 9, 2008 @ 9:49 pm | Reply

  37. Harrison enters the pub…’Walk this way, walk this way”…. a swagger in his kicker, he tosses a fresh tie die to Brett, some jeans. “Ladies getting rowdy again?” Brett, grabs the tee out of the air, puts on the pants. “Nothing I can’t handle, bro”. One solid body follows the other over to the bar as every female eye in the place follows. “Two Coors lede, barkeep.” The Viking hands one to his friend. They turn and look around, survey all Tei’s friends, ” Ahhhh, nut graf, just the way we like’ em.” “Could get kind of messy”….”Ahhh, we’ll mop it up.”

    Comment by Janice Cartier — May 9, 2008 @ 9:53 pm | Reply

  38. Tei: Yes, fresh booze all day long. BUT when you get here early, you get to give the keg a good little kicker, which gives the lede a solid body and you get lots of head on your nut graf. Mmmm…

    Harry: Aquarians rock. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Comment by Karen JL — May 9, 2008 @ 9:54 pm | Reply

  39. @Wendi: I was born cool. Sheesh, I’m sounding like James now. No, my parents weren’t writers, but if you tune into MwP tomorrow you’ll get a surprise. I agree though, sun signs just scratch the surface. I owe my coolness factor and animal magnetism to the Scorpio cusp. The Libra moon is what keeps my Voice of Reason in tact.

    @Allison: Yup, motorcycles. In fact, I’ll be taking Lucifer out for a run tonight. Have to go check out a iaido dojo (sword school). Should be a nice evening for a ride. I’ve got room for one, want to join me? I know Kelly won’t want to ride.

    @Janice: I rarely, if ever, swagger into a bar. *smacks the jukebox and gets Nobody’s Fault* There, that’s better.

    Comment by Harrison McLeod — May 9, 2008 @ 10:04 pm | Reply

  40. Wendi – Tei had a *very* late night… I don’t think she’ll notice if wen commandeer the kitchen for a bit. ๐Ÿ™‚ Hmmm I wonder if she has a BBQ out back. If so, we can have the naked viking go grill up the Pub Burgers!

    Comment by Allison — May 9, 2008 @ 10:05 pm | Reply

  41. Harry – I would love to! How exciting! Just lemme finish up making dinner here… Wendi will kill me if I ditch her and make her finish the cooking by herself! It’s a big, hungry bunch here!

    Comment by Allison — May 9, 2008 @ 10:08 pm | Reply

  42. Allison,let’s get Wendi and head to the kitchen. People are getting hungry…and besides it’s going to get good, the Maggies are sniffing cat on Harrison. Wendi, put down that peanut bowl you don’t know where it’s been… Where!!???
    Yeah, grab the scotch. Let’s go see if there’s any guac in the Tei’s fridge. I feel the need to dip. Oh look Matt is here. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Comment by Janice Cartier — May 9, 2008 @ 10:22 pm | Reply

  43. Janice, no guac unfortunately, but I brought more avocados than I needed for the sushi so we can use those.

    Wendi, let’s go, you might want to wash that before you use it! Where did Tei put the dish soap?

    Harry, yes, do be careful, we’ve got some very excitable dogs here at the pub.

    Hey there Matt! Sit down, make yourself comfortable. We’ll have dinner out in a bit!

    Hey Brett, you up for some grilling? The burgers are about ready to go on the grill, and maybe we’ll toss some veggies on there, or some salmon…

    Comment by Allison — May 9, 2008 @ 10:31 pm | Reply

  44. Tei, thanks for the link love! I of course almost wet my pants laughing so hard. Yea, I am cheery, can’t help it, even when I try to be cranky there’s just this giant ball of sunshine that raises up and pops me in the head. Kind of like the villiage idiot I guess but I’m cool with that it’s who I am. I dig the pub and the company. I’d make a joke about nut grafs and kilts but your mom might be reading. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Comment by Karen Swim — May 9, 2008 @ 10:34 pm | Reply

  45. @Harry-note to self, prefers Lede Zepplin, no swaggering …smacks the jukebox, jumps on Lucifer and heads out to a iaido dojo ( my tongue firmly in cheek) what…more… moves like water… into the night at one with machine and the dark ? ๐Ÿ™‚

    @Karen JL- Aquarians do rock…:)

    Comment by Janice Cartier — May 9, 2008 @ 10:45 pm | Reply

  46. @Janice: Led Zep did a Nobody’s Fault? I was thinking of the one Aerosmith did. Of all the Led Zep songs, Tangerine is my fave.

    @Wendi: James says that a name is the only gift that lasts forever and a wise parent chooses well.

    Comment by Harrison McLeod — May 9, 2008 @ 11:16 pm | Reply

  47. @Harry-Nobody’s Fault But Mine Is Led Zep. Aerosmith Nobody’s Fault…I’ll have to look see if they’re the same. Nice guitar in Tangerine. I am intrigued with the dojo though I must say. Do you read Barry Eisler?

    Comment by Janice Cartier — May 9, 2008 @ 11:37 pm | Reply

  48. @James – So wrong about Sagittarians! Cancers are squishy side walking and talking crustaceans. hehe And a Gemini cusp just makes them talk more…frequently. I have a son with this concentration. Fixation.

    @Tei – Write about anything you want, especially here, after business. I love the way you ramble on.

    @Friar – Thrusting Pig?! Christ, what a visual that IS!

    Comment by Ellen Wilson — May 9, 2008 @ 11:39 pm | Reply

  49. @Janice: They’re not the same, that much I do know, lol. My other fave Aerosmith is What Kind of Love Are You On. Love those dark, heavy songs. Yup, I finally found two traditional schools down here and I’m sure you’ll all hear more about it. I’m getting stale, I need new experiences to jazz up my writing.

    Comment by Harrison McLeod — May 10, 2008 @ 12:02 am | Reply

  50. @Harry- Look forward to hearing more. You got that right on keeping it fresh. Have a good ride.

    Comment by Janice Cartier — May 10, 2008 @ 12:08 am | Reply

  51. Hi, everybody! I heard there was beer.

    I knew a guy once had to get a nut graf. Was out of commission for a week. There, but for the grace of God…

    Comment by Matt Tuley — May 10, 2008 @ 1:12 am | Reply

  52. Hey, we need a bus boy in here. We girls …and Brett did all the cooking..but I only do the dishes in my own home kitchen pub.
    Harry..I married my sexy Scorp and he has that reasonable Libra sidenote goin’ on too. ๐Ÿ™‚ Perfect balance.

    ah, I love how its winding into the nice guitar tunes and conversation.
    James…is that you playing over there?
    Sounds good….
    Tei..you run a good Pub here…Reminds me of Ireland.

    Comment by wendikelly — May 10, 2008 @ 3:14 am | Reply

  53. @Allison,

    Grilling, yes. Tablecloth, no. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Time for another beer…

    Comment by Brett Legree — May 10, 2008 @ 3:30 am | Reply

  54. […] I look nothing like the dude in this picture.ย  Especially my nut graf – I need the *large* peanut bowl to cover it.ย  If you don’t believe me, ask the regulars at […]

    Pingback by 6 Weeks — May 10, 2008 @ 8:39 am | Reply

  55. I dated this guy in college who had a real solid body, but hereโ€™s the kicker: He had a nut graf. Funny, he still ledes the pack of my ex-boyfriends โ€ฆ

    Comment by Rebecca Smith — May 10, 2008 @ 3:45 pm | Reply

  56. My internet went down yesterday and I missed this whole thing.

    I’m back just in time to say,

    “I FREAKIN’ LOVE YOU GUYS, MAN.”

    Matt: I know, I know. Brett tagged me too. Does this mean I have to do sixteen of ’em.

    Mental note: Pub needs kitchen/barbecue/dojo/extra tablecloths. GOT it.

    Announcing the winner of the nut graf joke in just a bit, stay tuned.

    Comment by Tei — May 10, 2008 @ 5:06 pm | Reply

  57. […] we’d been joking about it all day, what a nut graf was. This after I explicitly told everyone we were not going to be discussing actual business-related subjects. He’s rebellious, is the Friar. To punish him, I am going to answer this question […]

    Pingback by Journalism components « Rogue Ink — May 12, 2008 @ 6:28 am | Reply


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