Rogue Ink

May 11, 2008

The Rogue Mother’s Day

Filed under: Off Topic — Tei @ 5:05 pm
Tags: ,

It’s like the Queen Mother. But different.

It’s Mother’s Day, people. Mother’s Day is at the top of my list of holidays-that-got-shanghaied-by-commercialism. Right up there with Valentine’s Day and Christmas. Now, one of my favorite things in life (and this is true) is to redeem holidays that have gone native and spend them doing activities in the actual spirit of the day (on Valentine’s Day, I write love letters. Real ones. With pen and ink and nice paper and perfume dottings and all. Take THAT, Hallmark). Mother’s Day I haven’t figured out yet, and here’s why.

My mom really likes Mother’s Day.

And I get that. What’s not to love about a day that celebrates the extraordinary pain involved in bearing and raising a child? (Seriously. I did NOT make that second part easy.) It started off so well, too. Mother’s Day had some great origins. Historically, lots of countries have a day to celebrate motherhood, and moms get gifts and appreciation on that day. It’s been going on since Greek and Roman times (for those of you who aren’t reading the comments, and seriously, you’re missing out, yes, those are the same Greeks and Romans who admired the aesthetics of a small penis). In this country, it was adapted originally to be a peace day, “Mother’s Day for Peace.” Later, as a movement to get better sanitary conditions during the Civil War.

Seriously. How cool is that? Mothers stood up to ask for peace and for safety. They wanted their day to symbolize those things that are associated most with hearth and home. Before anyone gets all uppity on me about the fact that women can be the breadwinners too, I remind you that I am single, female, and an entrepreneur, and that I wield mighty double-handed swords. I still think it’s awesome that instead of saying, “We deserve a day to be pampered and loved for being mothers,” they said, “We want our day to symbolize motherhood, and so we will use it to stand up for peace and safety, because that is what motherhood is about, bitches.”

They probably didn’t say that last bit, this was the Civil War. They were thinking it, though.

I’m two days away from going home to see my own mother, which is when she’s going to be showered with the gifts and all. Until then, I’m going to call her up and we’re going to have a long, long talk, because in twenty-four years of being my mother’s daughter, I have discovered that the thing she likes most is talking with me. Not most in the ENTIRE WORLD (I’ve got a brother and a sister she’s pretty fond of talking to as well, and I’ve seen her get positively squidgy over new cellphone technology), but most from me.

I’m also going to blog about it, because she gets kind of tickled about the blog thing, too.


You’re amazing, and I love you. In honor of the Greeks and the Romans and the Chinese and the Brits (back when they were English) and really awesome colonial mothers, Happy Mother’s Day.

If I am happier than I have ever been in my life right now (and I am), it is because of you.

If I am smarter than the average box of biscuits (and I like to think so), it is because of you.

If I am an incredibly speedy typist and that fact helped me become a better writer, because I could get what I was thinking onto the page as I was thinking it (which is true in ways I never dreamed when I was trying to beat the hell out of Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing), it is because I saw you working on a computer back when computers were not common, in your basement office, and you were tapping away like mad, and I thought “That is so cool. I want to do that.”

If I am an incredible wiseass on this blog and you worry about it sometimes (which I know you do), you should blame Daddy. It’s all his fault.

I love you.

Subscribe already. You’re my Mom, you’re supposed to.



  1. Tei,

    A very touching tribute to your mother – very nice.


    Comment by Brett Legree — May 11, 2008 @ 5:24 pm | Reply

  2. Tei,
    Lovely. Very , very lovely.

    ( I am with you on the holiday thing BTW. )

    Comment by Janice Cartier — May 11, 2008 @ 6:17 pm | Reply

  3. Awesome, Tei. I almost cried–until you mentioned your dad. Then I cracked up. 🙂

    Comment by Caanan — May 11, 2008 @ 7:11 pm | Reply

  4. Tei, that’s the stuff that makes Mommys happy (not that I am one). Very sweet.
    Enjoy your visit with her next week. 🙂

    Comment by Karen JL — May 11, 2008 @ 8:10 pm | Reply

  5. Tei,

    Your Mom will love it. History and everything! I never heard any of that. I figured it was made up to pinch kids once a year. (Got some good Father’s Day history coming up?)

    You’re definitely smarter than the average box of biscuits.

    Thanks, Tei’s Mom. Tei’s a great gift to the ‘net.

    Happy Mother’s Day, all.



    Comment by Kelly — May 11, 2008 @ 11:32 pm | Reply

  6. At church today we all read this here proclamation of Mother’s Day by Julia Ward Howe (of Battle Hymn of the Republic fame). I like the part about the boys coming home covered in blood and we won’t cuddle them. (perhaps this is a bit long for a comment, but I thought I’d share!)

    Arise, then, women of this day!
    Arise, all women who have hearts,
    Whether our baptism be of water or of tears!

    Say firmly:
    “We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,
    Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.
    Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
    All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
    We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country
    To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”

    From the bosom of the devastated Earth a voice goes up with our own.
    It says: “Disarm! Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.”
    Blood does not wipe out dishonor, nor violence indicate possession.
    As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war,
    Let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel.

    Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
    Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
    Whereby the great human family can live in peace,
    Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
    But of God.

    In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
    That a general congress of women without limit of nationality
    May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
    And at the earliest period consistent with its objects,
    To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
    The amicable settlement of international questions,
    The great and general interests of peace.

    Comment by Lizbeth — May 12, 2008 @ 1:47 am | Reply

  7. I’m all about reclaiming damaged goods; hell, if it worked for me, it certainly should for a holiday. While I’m totally in support of pampering our moms, it’s remembering who they are as people I like to see happen on THEIR day as it’s what makes them amazing mothers. It’s a given we wouldn’t even exist w/out them but I’d literally be lost w/out mine (she was the reason I couldn’t stay away each time I ran away) & she’s still my inner compass.

    You nailed it, Tei, our moms are all that’s good in us! ~_^ Enjoy the upcoming visit w/yours & thanx for this step towards reclaiming Mothers’ Day.. I kept the observance of it on my blog short but true:
    (|_|*cheers*|_|) @coffeesister ^_^

    Comment by Dorian aka coffeeister |_|) — May 12, 2008 @ 10:38 am | Reply

  8. I spent the entire weekend with my younger sister who is currently a mother to two sick little kids. She was trying to look after them, even had to take one to the hospital (where she waited over five hours to be seen), and host 8 people who were doing her roof with her husband. I took one look at the chaotic situation and said, I’m too chicken shit to be a mom.

    Then I looked after my niece for two entire days and even missed her this morning. And that was after I woke up having dreamt I had a kid of my own. Scary shit.

    My friend who said she was never, ever having kids gave birth this weekend and fell instantly in love. She was (is) the bravest mom I’ve ever known: after every contraction she looked at her hubby who was probably going to hurl from nervousness, and said, “I can do this, this isn’t that hard.” I love her for that, because even in a time of absolute pain, she was nurturing.

    I still don’t want kids, but I have a deeper respect for mothers everywhere every time I see what they go through, and watch them with their children.

    Comment by steph — May 12, 2008 @ 3:05 pm | Reply

  9. As a mom, I am totally in support of the pampering of mothers. However, I don’t see the point in restricting it to one day. We should be pampered because people you love should be pampered, not because we’re moms. Mother’s Day is all about my son for me. It’s about why I’m a mom, spending time with him, and generally doing mom thngs. I’m totally diggin’ the historical aspect of the holiday.

    Comment by Sandie — May 12, 2008 @ 5:19 pm | Reply

  10. I think my Mama blames my Daddy a lot, too….

    Nice post. :))

    Comment by Lori — May 12, 2008 @ 8:14 pm | Reply

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