Rogue Ink

June 11, 2008

Mourning Grovers.

Filed under: Blogging — Tei @ 4:54 pm

I’m sure everyone’s wondering what the hell happened to me this morning. Me too. I am wondering. You see, when I first moved into my new house, I was delighted to find there was wireless all around me. One in particular was very strong. It was called Grovers. I loved Grovers. My desk corner lived and basked in the glow of Grovers’ free wireless. And it was good.

About a month later, someone got greedy. Some other dude started to download tons of stuff off Grovers. He was the kind of guy Napster worried about, and Grovers slowed to a crawl. I was sad. The owner of Grovers was sad. And he put a lock on it.

Now, I respect that. If you are freelining off someone else’s wireless, it is common courtesy to not use it for crazy downloads. For one thing, then the owner catches on right quick. I kind of want to catch downloading dude and give him some rogue lessons, because even I knew what he was up to, and I suck at technology. Every time Grovers’ owner and I would be happily checking our email on the speedy Grovers wireless and suddenly, without warning, everything started to freeze up, we knew he was there. Not subtle. Bad form.

So Grovers’ owner putting a lock on his wireless was the only smart thing for him to do. The sad thing was, this left me without wireless. Which is when I discovered something about my new house.

No wireless box.

I couldn’t get the wireless. There may be a box hidden somewhere, but it might be up in the boarded up haunted attic. It might be in my neighbor’s side of the house, since I’m in one half a duplex. Figures. I get the giant ugly water heater, he gets the wireless box. ‘Course, I got the claw-footed bathtub, and I think really nothing trumps the claw-footed bathtub. Unless it’s a butler like Jeeves, but that’s a dream I fear I shall never realize.

Oh, Jeeves. Why do you not appear every morning with a cup of the revitalizing liquid to soothe my pain? You would fix the wireless, Jeeves, I know you would.

Here’s the problem with a Rogue with no wireless: I’m a horrible insomniac. I do some of my best work between the hours of 10:00 p.m. and 3:00 a.m. Guess when the internet cafes close down? No, really. Guess. I want you to.

So I have to solve the wireless problem. Five hours of lost potential work time isn’t acceptable, and (just to bring it back around to you people) it often means that I can’t put up a new blog post on time. Last night, I spent two hours trying to get the measly linksys signal I can sometimes tap into to work. No dice. Either I’ll have to get dial-up or I’ll have to go bang on my neighbor’s door and see if we can’t share his wireless box, and he might be one of those guys who isn’t inclined to share. Though he’s kind enough to share his secondhand pot smoke with me on a regular basis through the wall, so maybe I’ll get lucky.

Anyway. That’s what happened to the blog posting. I’ll write it earlier today and get it up before the cafe shuts down.


  1. Why don’t you talk to the person and ask him/her to give you the security key so you can connect? Maybe share in the cost of the network connection.

    Comment by Tony — June 11, 2008 @ 5:59 pm | Reply

  2. I love how with you even something like no wireless turns into a long entertaining post. I hope you can fix the issue soon. My connection is sketchy at best and I’m hooked up. It could be any number of things but not the provider. That to say I feel your frustration of not having an Internet connection work smoothly and speedily or at all. I become a raging lunatic but you handle it creatively, with a funny post. Tip: wear your sword(s) when you ask the pothead to share. He’ll be too afraid to say no.

    Comment by Steph — June 11, 2008 @ 7:35 pm | Reply

  3. @Steph,
    That depends on how high the pothead already is. He might decide the sight of our Rogue with sword at side swaggering at the door is a hallucination and slam the door on her face.

    Oh what the heck. Tei, Rogue Queen, I think its time for a night at the bar.

    Have you any chips, a good brew and some tunes for that machine over there? Its the first day of summer vacation,I’ve been home all day with four-yep-count them- kids full of energy and I’m ready for a night at the Pub.

    Comment by wendikelly — June 11, 2008 @ 11:22 pm | Reply

  4. You need to live near a nice kilt-wearing Viking dude. Or he needs to live near you. Then he’d give you his key for his wireless and you’d be set up.

    Like Tony said, you really turned this into a great post.

    Comment by Brett Legree — June 12, 2008 @ 12:49 am | Reply

  5. Great time to whip out paper and green ink!

    Comment by YoMama — June 12, 2008 @ 6:09 am | Reply

  6. I’m assuming you have a high speed connection and it’s just not wireless?

    You can add a wireless access point yourself. See

    Comment by Tony Lawrence — June 12, 2008 @ 12:39 pm | Reply

  7. Oh, I see: you don’t have anything..

    Stop being silly: if your business can’t afford a DSL or Cable or whatever, you don’t really have a business, do you?

    Aside from that, you do not want to be sharing wireless with strangers because THEY CAN GET AT YOUR STUFF! Your clients wouldn’t like that, would they?

    Get a real connection. Get it with a wireless router or add a WAP.

    Comment by Tony Lawrence — June 12, 2008 @ 12:46 pm | Reply

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