Vote.

I’ve been volunteering for the Obama campaign for the last two weeks, which is one of many reasons I haven’t been around the blogosphere very much. I’m exhausted. I’ve been more or less working two jobs full-time, and I have to tell you, the next time a canvasser comes to your door and you don’t want to talk to them, just say that. Please. Nicely. Speaking as someone who hates, hates, hates talking to strangers, I will never bother you again with another question if you are nice to me, because I will be afraid of rocking my tiny little raft of Nice upon which I am afloat.

That’s Nice the sentiment, not the French city, just so we’re all following along here. Nice, France is just fine, so far as I know. Nothing Atlantisian happening over there. (Atlantean? Atlantisean?)

Alas, since my job would not truly be done before the polls are out if I didn’t make one last impassioned plea to everyone – go vote. Even though, apparently, only stupid people vote.

In Which I Explain That Remark

Theoretically, it’s actually illogical to vote. I have spoken to economists and mathematicians and statistical analysts about it, and they all tell me with absolute authority that your vote does not, strictly speaking, count. And they are right (or, at least, they assure me their math is correct, which as we have long known in the Rogue world, is not by any means an indication that they ARE right, just mathematically correct. Math. Ugh). Your vote is one among thousands, and the chances of your single vote swaying the outcome of the election is infinitesimal.

But.

Think of it this way. When the first telephones were invented, they were the coolest things ever. One guy over here had a phone, and another guy over there had a phone, and by St. Joseph and Jeremiah, they could TRANSPORT THE SOUNDS OF THEIR VOICES ACROSS TIME AND SPACE. Coolest. Thing. Ever. Guy One and Guy Two were pretty awesome, all alone in their telephoning. They had power. They had influence. They probably got a lot of girls.

Now everyone in the world has a phone. I have a phone. You have a phone. I saw a homeless guy on the street just this morning who had a phone. Having a phone, this amazing ability to play ventriloquist across a world, is no longer cool, because everyone is doing it, so what difference does it make if I pick up the phone right now and call my friend in Korea? Does anything change? Does it MATTER?

Yeah, it does. I’m still doing something magical. Whether we remember it or not, it’s still pretty unbelievable, phenomenal even, that we can fling a ribbon of sound across the world through a tiny little device that also tells me when the next movie is showing and has a ringtone from Johnny Cash.

So go vote.

No, you’re not the first guy to vote. You’re not even the first guy who suggested that we should maybe vote. Your vote probably will not swing an entire election. But with all of the thousands of people in the United States today going out to the polls to exercise a right that is not afforded to so many people in the world, we’re still doing something magical. Whether we remember it or not, we still have that power. And it does still matter.

Plus, come on. When have I ever encouraged anyone to listen to an economist or a statistician? I ask you.